Repetição

Eu nunca fui boa nisso, não levo jeito pra dizer que vai dar tudo certo e nenhum desastre vai acontecer. Pois, eu sei que vai. “You were meant for something great.” Sim, uma baita de uma merda.

Eu não sei fazer nada direito.

A vida toda errada + o drama todo que eu faço = Uma vida mais feia que briga de foice no escuro.

Não fossem uns poucos amigos ali presentes, impedindo que eu fique louca, não sei o que seria de mim.

“Já não aguento mais essa vida que todo dia insiste em me acordar e me tirar da cama para escutar as mesmas conversas, ter sempre o mesmo horário pra voltar. Quem sabe hoje talvez o tempo mude e me carregue pra outro lugar. Não tem me feito bem passar o dia inteiro à míngua com pensamentos e lembranças de coisas que nao sei se vivi.”

Cold wind

Há um vazio no vale do meu coração. Um buraco.

Houve um tempo em que era cheio e florido. Mas, o inverno chegou, tudo morreu e hoje só resta o vazio.

O clima anda frio. E eu também.

Vai ver a parte sentimental que eu tinha hibernou. Acho que não acorda tão cedo.

E, no fim, não posso dizr que acho isso ruim.

Tragedy

Eu estou imune há meses.

Ele está curado há meses. O coração.

Eu não quero que ninguém bata nele. Não quero ele machucado.

Mas eu não transbordo. Eu sou só uma copo meio vazio.

De veneno. Do qual ninguém se aproxima.

Já disseram que não se deve esperar de outros para ser inteiro. E eu realmente não espero.

Só que, às vezes, transbordar um pouco não faz mal.

Charlie’s Last Letter

“I don’t know if I will have the time to write any more letters, because I might be too busy trying to participate. So, if this does end up being the last letter, I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school, and you helped me. Even if you didn’t know what I was talking about, or know someone who’s gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. And there are people who forget what it’s like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen. I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song, and that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.”

Dia do amigo

Island in the sun

I’ve been living in an island in the past days. Not completely lonely, but “isolate” for the outside world. The only people I see, apart of my family, I “see” throught the internet. Even I miss some friends, I like being like this.

Listen to music, read my comic books, watch my shows and movies, work on my posts for EA (Oh, have I told you I’m writing music posts for EA? It’s awesome, you should read it!) I’m taking my time. I wasn’t like that since the beginning of the year, and it’s just feel great! Company’s ok, solitude is bliss.

It all ends in one week. I’m not in the mood to go back to work. In fact, I’m thinking 'bout quit. But I don’t know yet. I cannot afford to not having a job, I have bills to pay, fun moments to enjoy, stuff to buy.

Anyway, I have found out what my undergratuate will be. But Jennifer, weren’t sure about it yet? At some point, yes. But with all the stuff that have happened, like my disapproval and my friends telling me to not do Astrophysics, I decided for Journalism. Again? Again. Hope I don’t change my mind anymore.

That’s it, I felt I had to tell you all this.

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